The Atlantic Monthly magazine recently published a ‘Dear Therapist’ column about the adoptee experience. A letter was written by a grandmother (Lynne) concerned that her daughter’s child whom she relinquished for adoption was not interested in knowing her biological mother. The therapist’s response to Lynne was a reassuring piece valuing the adopted daughter’s experiences. I… Continue reading The Atlantic’s ‘Dear Therapist’ Surprising Response about Adoption
Thanks to all who commented, shared and gave feedback on Part I. I did not realize that many stay-at-home moms felt similarly. I appreciated hearing your experiences and I’m grateful for your support as a stay-at-home dad and writer. Playgrounds are alienating. Sonali loves them. I find them intimidating and uncomfortable. I’ve entered a women’s domain… Continue reading Joy and Isolation: My Experience as a Stay-at-Home Dad – Part II
I recently began the hardest and most rewarding job of my life, being a stay-at-home dad. I lost my job in March 2016 and after a year-long job search that yielded little fruit, I now watch Sonali 50 hours a week. It’s difficult. Spending all day with an 11-month old that can’t talk, walk and… Continue reading Joy and Isolation: My Experience as a Stay-at-Home Dad – Part I
Thousands of intercountry adoptees lack US citizenship. But there are two bi-partisan bills, in the House and Senate that would end this travesty. The Adoptee Rights Campaign (ARC), a coalition of adoptees and advocates launched our Family is MORE than DNA campaign! This postcard campaign, features a picture collage of adoptive families and our goal is to send 35,000… Continue reading Adoptees Inch Closer to US Citizenship and We Need Your Help!
Our daughter Sonali Robyne Bryant was born on May 26, 2016. Her name means ‘golden’ in Hindi. Robyne is my mother’s name. I’m now a father. As I wrote about here, Sasmita and I decided not to learn our baby’s gender before birth, we both wanted the surprise. The doctors and attending nurses assumed we… Continue reading Do you want to see the world? – Thoughts on Fatherhood
Sasmita and I decided against learning the sex of our coming baby. We do not want to cloud the joyous event, by placing expectations or hopes of a specific gender. But there’s another reason; Sasmita is uncomfortable discovering a baby’s sex because in India it’s illegal. Prenatal sex determination testing is against Indian law. Indian society… Continue reading We don’t know if we’re having a boy or girl. In India it’s illegal to find out.
Sasmita and I will be parents in early June of 2016! We are excited, but not ready to be parents. Then again, who is? We told my parents during Thanksgiving and called her folks in India, via Skype shortly afterwards, sharing our happy news across the globe. As I contemplate Fatherhood, thoughts of my own… Continue reading Facing Fatherhood as an Adoptee
Recently, Sasmita and I were eating dinner. About halfway through, her eyes got big, and she excitedly told me that she saw ‘a big creature’ today, in the yard by the mailbox. Intrigued, as always, by such pronouncements, I told her to continue. She told me that it stood as tall high as my knee, with a… Continue reading ‘A.J – I Saw a Creature Today’
Last week I finished the exemplary PBS/Frontline three-part series ‘My Brother’s Bomber. The story is about Ken Dornstein, whose brother was killed in the 1988 bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland. A suitcase with one-pound of Semtex plastic explosives, blew the 747 out of the sky, nearly 30,000 feet over the Scottish… Continue reading ‘My Brother’s Bomber’ and the Reminder of a Tragic Adoption Story
Recently, Sasmita and I went to an Indian restaurant called Woodlands, in Langley Park, Maryland. We rarely eat Indian food outside of our house. Sasmita is a fantastic cook, and she makes most dishes either of us might order out, usually they taste better than any restaurant. She has craved South Indian cuisine for a while;… Continue reading Feeling like an Outsider at an Indian Buffet
The little girl’s name was Lily. Sasmita formerly nannied for the family and they asked us if we could watch her one weekend this past January at their D.C. house. That Saturday we went to a trendy place a few blocks from their house called Union Market. It has a few restaurants and some specialty food stores, but it’s popular for its delicious… Continue reading We babysat a white girl for a weekend. Everyone thought we adopted her.
Sasmita and I celebrated our third Christmas holiday season together in 2014. But it was the first Christmas that I actually know my Indian side of our family, the Nayaks. As I wrote about here, Sasmita and I visited them in June 2014. We had an Indian wedding ceremony and stayed in her village, Alligonda at her parent’s house for a… Continue reading The First Christmas Knowing my Indian family
For those unaware, this is National Adoption Awareness Month. There has been a lot of social media about this, some good pieces in well-known magazines, like the NY Times and elsewhere. National Adoption Month, was created to raise awareness and celebrate foster care adoption. In recent years it has been co-opted by the Adoption lobby and by those… Continue reading A Small Thank You to my Parents this Thanksgiving 2014
Ajit Nayak is my brother-in-law and he is mentally and physically disabled. Since I’ve known Sasmita, I have heard stories about her brother who is two years older than me and his disability. One day this summer, my father-in-law Valentine and I were chatting about life in Village Alligonda. He began telling me about Ajit,… Continue reading My brother-in-Law Ajit: The Nayak’s Great Family Tragedy
Sasmita and I spent one full week in Delhi in May 2014. We were there primarily buying wedding clothes for the Nayak family and ourselves. We also visited some friends we stayed in touch with and who made indelible marks on our lives. I remarked to Sasmi at one point that Delhi felt comfortable and… Continue reading Some Delhi Observations