Recently the New York Times published this article titled ‘ What I Spent to Adopt My Child: What 3 Couples Paid to Adopt.’ I thought the title about adoption fees was unnecessary. Adoption, whether domestic or international requires money. Many adoptees are sensitive about discussing money and their adoption. The title seems inappropriate to me.… Continue reading Adoptions Cost Money. That Is Not a Scandal.
Adoptee Thoughts on DNA Testing
I participated in a roundtable discussion called a ‘Community Studio’ about adoptees and DNA Testing. It was facilitated by two adopted geneticists at the National Institutes of Health. There were about 15 participants, most internationally adoptees. I was the only Indian-adoptee, but it included adoptees from Korea, China, and the Philippines. The non-adopted participants included… Continue reading Adoptee Thoughts on DNA Testing
The Lack of Male Voices in Adoption Land
Someone on Twitter asked, ‘where are the male adoptee voices?’ I tweeted a few responses. Then I decided to write a blog post about why I think this is true. As a male adoptee voice for the last decade, the number of men that I have met or hear about who are active in the… Continue reading The Lack of Male Voices in Adoption Land
The Atlantic’s ‘Dear Therapist’ Surprising Response about Adoption
The Atlantic Monthly magazine recently published a ‘Dear Therapist’ column about the adoptee experience. A letter was written by a grandmother (Lynne) concerned that her daughter’s child whom she relinquished for adoption was not interested in knowing her biological mother. The therapist’s response to Lynne was a reassuring piece valuing the adopted daughter’s experiences. I… Continue reading The Atlantic’s ‘Dear Therapist’ Surprising Response about Adoption
Netflix’s Delhi Crime Is a Fascinating Cultural Study
The backdrop for the Netflix show Delhi Crime is the infamous Nirbhaya gang rape and murder on a bus in Delhi, India in December 2012. But if you were thinking about watching it, let me be clear: the show emphasizes the hunt and apprehension of the six rapists, using case files from the actual event.… Continue reading Netflix’s Delhi Crime Is a Fascinating Cultural Study
A Major Flaw in the Fight Against Human Trafficking
The element missing in trafficking in persons (TIP), is prevention. Recently, I have done much research into TIP efforts globally. And I have reached a potentially unpopular conclusion: how the money is being spent will never stop the problem and the amount expended is nowhere near as much as the tragedy requires. Furthermore, there is… Continue reading A Major Flaw in the Fight Against Human Trafficking
Trump’s Evangelical Supporters and Foreign Adoption
I frequently come across white evangelical Christians who are ardent proponents of international adoption and also strong Trump supporters. And the data seems to back up this personal experience: nearly 80 percent of evangelical Christians voted for Donald Trump for President and numbers show that large segments of the evangelical Christian population support foreign adoption.… Continue reading Trump’s Evangelical Supporters and Foreign Adoption
Do Not Blame the State Department for Declining Adoptions
A host of recent news stories are about the decline in international adoptions. The decrease in adoptions is staggering: 24,000 plus foreign adoptions in 2004 and less than 5,000 as of 2017. But the State Department is not actively looking to stop international adoption as many bloggers and pundits suggest. This issue cuts across both… Continue reading Do Not Blame the State Department for Declining Adoptions
I Renounced my Indian Citizenship to Get a Visa
We are spending Christmas in India this year. It’s time for Sonali to meet Sasmita’s family. But visiting India requires a visa. I’ve received multiple Indian visas in the last 10 years. The process requires many documents but is straightforward. I thought it would be simple this time as well. I could not have been… Continue reading I Renounced my Indian Citizenship to Get a Visa
Even If I Could Find my Birthmother – Fear Prevents Me
For most of my life, I’ve said I am fine without knowing my birth/first mother. That is untrue. The reality is somewhere in the middle. Pondering my roots is not keeping me awake at night, but I do wonder about my beginnings more often than I’ve previously admitted. I am curious to know anything about… Continue reading Even If I Could Find my Birthmother – Fear Prevents Me
I saw the adoption epic Lion. I was underwhelmed.
I put off watching Lion for months now, afraid it would be too emotional for me. I’d built it up, heard so many other adoptees and non-adopted folks gush about it, say how gut wrenching it was and how I ‘had’ to see it. Purposely, I stayed away from all reviews of it and only… Continue reading I saw the adoption epic Lion. I was underwhelmed.
Joy and Isolation: My Experience as a Stay-at-Home Dad – Part II
Thanks to all who commented, shared and gave feedback on Part I. I did not realize that many stay-at-home moms felt similarly. I appreciated hearing your experiences and I’m grateful for your support as a stay-at-home dad and writer. Playgrounds are alienating. Sonali loves them. I find them intimidating and uncomfortable. I’ve entered a women’s domain… Continue reading Joy and Isolation: My Experience as a Stay-at-Home Dad – Part II
Joy and Isolation: My Experience as a Stay-at-Home Dad – Part I
I recently began the hardest and most rewarding job of my life, being a stay-at-home dad. I lost my job in March 2016 and after a year-long job search that yielded little fruit, I now watch Sonali 50 hours a week. It’s difficult. Spending all day with an 11-month old that can’t talk, walk and… Continue reading Joy and Isolation: My Experience as a Stay-at-Home Dad – Part I
Adoptees Grow Up, Stop Treating Us Like Perpetual Children!
I’ve become more aware of the infantilization of adult adoptees, due to my work with the Adoptee Rights Campaign to give adoptees US Citizenship. The Adoptee Citizenship Act fills a loophole in the Child Citizenship Act of 2001, which gave all international adoptees US citizenship age 18 and younger. A common question I receive is… Continue reading Adoptees Grow Up, Stop Treating Us Like Perpetual Children!
I Took a Privilege Walk. Here’s what I Thought.
In early February of 2017, I participated in a ‘Privilege Walk.’ It’s an exercise examining an individual’s levels of privilege or disadvantage. I had finished speaking on an adoption panel and Sue Orban, the panel moderator asked all of us to participate. Each question requires the person to step forward or backward depending on their… Continue reading I Took a Privilege Walk. Here’s what I Thought.